Question & Answer

What are the current divorce statistics? Today some 19.4 million adults in America are divorced, representing 9.8 percent of the population, according to the Census Bureau. The Census also reports that over one million new divorces were registered in 2002.

Define “Parenting” The American Heritage Dictionary defines parenting as: The rearing of a child or children, especially the care, love, and guidance given by a parent. One who begets, gives birth to, or nurtures and raises a child; a father or mother.

Define “CoParenting” The American Heritage Dictionary defines coparenting as: An arrangement in a divorce or separation by which parents share legal and physical custody of a child or children.

Define “Christian” The American Heritage Dictionary defines Christian as: One who professes belief in Jesus as Christ or follows the religion based on the life and teachings of Jesus. One who lives according to the teachings of Jesus.

Define “Christian CoParenting” There is not an “official” definition found to this new term. As the foundation of this new ministry: Christian CoParenting is defined as an uncompromising commitment by two Christian parents to be Christ-like, nurturing and very intentional in every specific detail of their child’s life, especially after a divorce.

“Christian CoParenting® After Divorce” – Is it really possible to be amicable after divorce? Absolutely YES! It is a specific decision and commitment by both individual parents to put the past behind and focus on building a positive future for the sake of the child/children. There are very specific and easy steps to implementing this process. The hard part is to let go of the unresolved or hurtful issues of the past and be only focused on the future. God’s GRACE is mandatory in the forgiving process and sometimes this can take time; however, every single day and minute counts in the raising of children. The decision to be Christ-like must be immediate, never optional and never change, even after two people are divorced.

How do you define “Success” in coparenting? Immediately, no matter the circumstances involved, if two people can give their child a sense of peace and stability, complete freedom to interact with both parents, complete openness to love both parents and to grow up without guilt and the sense of being ‘torn’ … that is success! There are many specific details of everyday life that are addressed in the book that can help put all the building blocks, mortar and glue to the process.

Should grandparents, aunts, uncles and close friends be part of the process? Absolutely! Every child is deeply connected to so many other people in his/her family, extended family, close friends and they will be interacting with both the mother’s and father’s sides of their family. It is vital that every person affected share the same vision and commitment to being Christ-like and very intentional in the process.

What if my former spouse is not a Christian? Or my extended family members are not Christians? Every person’s interpersonal dynamics are different and unique, and of course not all people we know and love are committed Christians. The principles shared in the book and at the workshops can be completely implemented no matter the person’s religious beliefs. Scripture leads us to God’s love and God’s plan, but the TRUTH will always be the TRUTH. The most important factor in any equation is the child and the child’s heart - - if even one person in the child’s life will take a proactive and intentional stance on these issues, it WILL make a major and lifelong effect on the child’s heart! Please read Habakkuk 3:17-18.

What is the church’s reaction to divorce? Generally speaking, ten years ago most churches were not sure how to react to this topic. Thankfully most churches today have realized that there is no way to be immune from the issues regarding divorce and they have implemented specific programs and resources into their planning that are very helpful. Although most churches do not ever recommend divorce, they are now very compassionate and concerned about the individuals who are going through or have gone through a divorce. There are several very effective and solid programs available that give support to individuals after divorce.

How can this ministry help? Christian CoParentin®g is the next step in helping individuals to have hope and vision for the future and to put real ideas into practice that will make their child’s life very full, solid and free! In Galatians, Paul says, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” (Galatians 5:1) Children of divorce should not have to carry the yoke and burdens of their parents' problems; they should never be caught in the middle of unresolved issues that are between the parents and instead, they should be given a “double portion” of love, joy, kindness, peace and especially freedom! Please read Isaiah 61:7 – this is a foundational scripture for Christian CoParenting®.